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Why The Law of Attraction Does NOT Work For You
By Todd | September 28, 2007
The “law of attraction” has a very enticing promise: the ability to manifest anything you want through belief and intention. But does it work?
Some people are very successful with attraction (just watch The Secret to see 20+ personifications of it) while others fail time and time again. I think a primary reason people fail is that they have a mindset that does not allow attraction to work its magic. More often than not, these inhibiting belief systems are below the radar screen and reside in the subconscious mind…making them really tough to overcome.
The purpose of this article is to provide 4 questions you should ask yourself before you try and implement “attraction”. Answer these 4 questions as honestly as you can, and see if you start to uncover some “non-attraction-allowing” beliefs deep within you. Before I get to them, let me share an incredible recent experience:
When I started talking to my girlfriend about attraction, her response was “yes Todd, I am very attracted to you”, but then when I explained what I meant about the law of attraction she had a more typical reaction: “OK, than I will start to feel more money coming into my life, because that’s what I want”!
The following day when she was paying for lunch, Irina (my girlfriend) noticed the cashier staring at the quarter she had just given her. The guy on line behind her asked to see the strange looking quarter, and after inspecting it told her she was in possession of a pretty rare coin.
A few hours later, she did some research online and learned that she was indeed the owner of a very rare quarter and depending on its condition might be worth up to $2,500!
Talk about attraction: The day before she agreed (almost begrudgingly) to try and attract more money in her life and the very next day she learned that the very money in her pocket was worth more than she knew…and the money she seeked to attract came to her in the form of money itself!
Irina was certainly a “newbie” in terms of purposefully trying to attract things in her life; but it worked for her because she has an internal belief system that allows the law to manifest. Ask yourself these questions and see if you really have what it takes to make attraction work for you:
1. Are you REALLY open-minded?
Deep down, do you really believe that you can manifest things simply by habituating the art of believing in them? If not, attraction will not stick for you. It is absolutely necessary to examine your most basic beliefs, and uncover your most innate skepticisms, to enable attraction to ensue.
What you can do: If you answered “no” to the above question, talk to someone who has made attraction work for them. Query this person about their internal beliefs and find out how they have come to accept attraction as reality.
2. Do you believe coincidences are random, or do you feel they mean something greater?
Coincidences are the physical manifestation of attraction, and the gateway to understanding it. If you do not believe they mean something broader, than attraction will not work for you. When the coin situation happened to Irina, she remembered our conversation from the day before and immediately understood that there was a connection.
What you can do: When coincidences happen, keep physical track of them. Write them down on paper. By focusing your attention on coincidences you will attract more of them and ultimately develop a greater sense for what they mean.
3. Are you ready to WORK HARD?
So many people have become excited about what attraction implies, only to complain that it doesn’t work for them soon after. The most difficult part of the law is to cultivate the routine of monitoring your thoughts. Checking in constantly to what you are thinking is the key to making attraction work. Its hard work, and you have to ask yourself if you up for the challenge!
What you can do: When you begin down this path, it can be helpful to quantify at the end of each day what % of time you spent in positive attraction mode and what % of time you spent in negative thought patterns. Physically write it down so you can SEE the results. This practice can be extremely enlightening and is an integral piece to attracting more of what you want…
4. Are you in for the LONG HAUL?
Attraction is a life-long practice. Although you may get lucky and manifest something pretty quickly (like Irina), it does not mean attraction will always work for you. For the practice to be truly beneficial, it is necessary to cultivate it over the long-term and purposefully accept it as part of your every day experience.
In conclusion, I believe the laws of attraction CAN work for anyone. The first step is to ask yourself the right questions and do a little digging into your subconscious mind…it is there you may find the answers to why attraction does not work for you!
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Topics: Perspective, Productivity |
I have trouble accepting this. Understand, I know this law is true. I See the universe or whatever it is wanting to give me the world ( figuritivly speaking of course) but i block it somehow and cant overcome allowing myself failure and improper management from others, I know am talented and gifted, i see it all in front of me I just cant reach out my hands and take it>.??? I don’t know what to do.
Posted by: kiley cobb on November 30th, 2007 at 11:09 pmHi Kiley– yes, it is easier to understand this law intellectually than to actually integrate it in our lives. I totally hear you. There are a bunch of things you can try. First, I wrote two follow-up articles on this topic, the first talks about positive thinking, and the second details the power of using affirmations. These are two great tools to try.
Here are the links, and if you want to speak further about this, offline, feel free to email me directly!!
http://www.wethechange.com/how-to-break-out-of-bad-habits-using-affirmations/
http://www.wethechange.com/7-effective-ways-to-implement-positive-thinking/
Posted by: Todd on December 3rd, 2007 at 11:23 amHi….I am retired and learned about this many years ago when I was a child…from mom. It wasn’t explained the same way, but it was close.
In short believing is something people can do easily and other find it difficult to do.
I remember when they told me in order to enjoy Scotch, it takes awhile to acquire the delight as it tastes lousy. Learn to ride your bike or become a piano player or learn almost anything worthwhile and at first you doubt, but stay with it and it will come to you…..practise. Even untalented people with no music instinct can become a dynamite piano player with practise and do it.
I know that this works and is true as I have done it all my life with amazing results. I hardly ever was able to even mention that things just came to me easily….every job mysteriously appeared…I took them and felt lucky. Then I made a list of things I would like to have….lots of things….even little things….one was a five string banjo. I got them all…every one of the items on my list and the banjo came as a birthday gift from a banjo teacher that overheard me say I wanted to learn. It is a fine banjo too…not a junker with a great case too. I still have it as a reminder of all this.
I get a lot of inspiration from the guy that said you can’t see electricity, but wow…it helps people worldwide and no one seems to understand it.
So this is free and works every time just the same as gravity….no exceptions or special people, etc.
So just do it…..watch your thoughts. We have to do this anyhow. Remember either we control or emotions or those emotions control us. And thoughts create emotions…right….so you are involved whether you believe it or not.
I had a really pretty girl friend that kept saying she had low self esteem and couldn’t do this or that…..said it all the time.
But she was very good at her difficult job and said she was good at that…very good. I said see…it works….she said no no . Think of what she could have had if she chaned her self conversation and attitude to positive.
So in my mind…there it is….it is what it is and we need to work it…it is easy too.
People will say….yeah yeah yeah, but….
So what is your mind set ? Do you know that it works for stopping smoking, drinking and drugs too. Set your mind properly and stay with it.
I did it with smoking and drinking. Once I decided to just do it and stop complaining about if I have to stop, what a bummer to I am now a non smoker/non drinker and feel great, save money and avoid cancer and DUI’s….lots of benes that far exceed the pleasure of hangovers and cig expense/smoke etc.
Sorry I rattled on, but don’t be the poor guy/gal that could change their life in an hour of self readjustment and continue on a miscellaneous life…try hard…work at it….do it today.
Posted by: Phil on April 22nd, 2008 at 3:52 pmThanks for the thoughtful comments Phil, and your points are well accepted here. I appreciate it…
Posted by: Todd on April 22nd, 2008 at 8:50 pmTodd
Lately everything in my life goes wrong,big and small things.The man I loved and was engaged with left me after 10years,my business is not working anymore,I can hardly afford anything,dont have many friends,even products I used to buy are taken off the market!(one of the small things of course)So can you please tell me HOW do I manage to think and be positive?But still,I must say your article is great.In fact for the moment I read it Iam a bit more positive and even feel better but it doesn’t last!I had another business idea which would definetely work for other people but of course not for me.I don’t know what to do anymore and how to cope!
Posted by: Elona on October 13th, 2008 at 6:07 amFor those who is struggling to become wealthy, here is the real “secret” that Rhonda Byrne and Co. did not tell you about.
The real secret: SELL THE IDEA OF LAW OF ATTRACTION
That is what made them millions. And you can be too. Sell, sell, sell. Doesn’t matter if you believe it or not. Sell anything regarding Law of Attraction.
Remember: PEOPLES GULLIBILITY IS YOUR PROFITABILITY.
Posted by: Sanders on October 16th, 2008 at 2:44 pmHi all
Please advise how does one master the Law of Attraction.
Cause man i have tried like crazy to manifest stuff, and ho boy dont let me begin to explain the dissapointments.
Posted by: Kamlesh on November 20th, 2008 at 10:05 amOur life’s have been planned by us before we came here. That means that some of us will learn about and use the law of attraction deliberately, and the vast majority will only use this fundamental law by default. Make no mistake, you make powerful use of the law of attraction daily, but the question is are you using it by default or consciously? Learn to meditate, write down the object of your desire, write down what you will do when it comes, visualize and feel it into your life. Read what you wrote down several times a day.
You do the very same thing with the negative things you invite into your life! think about how many times you think about what you dont want! I’m just asking you to do the same thing with the stuff you do want.
Posted by: Keith Williams on February 7th, 2009 at 10:44 amI have been trying to manifest the same thing for 7 yrs. When I email those who are supposed experts with past successes, they either don’t email me back,or,they give a quick half assed answer that doesn’t make sense. I want people who REALLY know how to manifest desires to help me because I will not give up.
Posted by: ed on April 5th, 2009 at 9:46 pmHi, I have been looking at my core beliefs for a long time now, I see what it is that is holding me back but I have no idea how to move forward. I know in essence what I want. I see why my life is the way it is, i have this belief in my own lack of ability to welcome in the changes. I see it reflected in all my life experiences and relationships. While I am aware the resources lie within me no amount of positive thinking, feeling, becoming aware, clear has allowed any of it in. I have done brandon bays journey work, I have been doing byron katies ‘the work’ I have been asking my body where i am holding onto things. I am so distraught with this game I play. This need for drama in my life, the need for the drama of believing in lack in my life, this game is just like a merrygoround. I have lost all belief in myself now, trust is so little. It has been many years now, I need to move forward. I know if I do the same things I will get the same results I for example today felt inspired to go for a drive with my partner to somewhere nice as its really sunny. We both know we have not enough money to do that, its just not in the bank. I just feel so limited in my life financially and everything im just so very upset about all of this. How do I turn my wants into needs so the deeper part of me needs what i want to the point of welcoming it in. I am aware that what I need i have and what i have i need. OTHERWISE it would not be in my life. Their is a need for drama more than prosperity and its killing me. I just gotta have some change instead of this status quo.
Posted by: Kelly on April 13th, 2009 at 1:17 pmHi Kelly, thank you for the honest comment. I feel your pain, and have felt very similarly in my life. Its interesting to view someone else’s drama from the outside. YES your life situation is VERY real, but I urge you to continue to give yourself perspective. You can shift out of a scarce mindset instantly. Did you ever take the Landmark Forum? If not, I HIGHLY recommend it. Very useful for perspective.
Posted by: Todd on April 13th, 2009 at 3:48 pmHang in there, life is all about ebb and flow. Smile during the tough times. Smile at your pain and fear. Let it be there, just the way it is. Transcend it…hope this all helps
Much love to you,
Todd
I have tried LOA for a long while now and I really didnt see anything manifest. I bought the books and cds and nothing so for. No relationship, no money, no nice stuff. I use all my might and thoughts and feelings into what I want and I feel very offended by people who tell me Im doing it wrong or that Im just not thinking positive enough. I have thought positive so much that its pretty much all I think of.
Dont get me wrong, if it worked for you, Im really happy for you and its must be nice to achieve such a wish but for me and others who have tried its very disappointing. I would never stop someone from trying it. It really sounds wonderful but again it didnt work for me. Just like some diets dont work for everyone, LOA didnt work for me.
Posted by: g on April 16th, 2009 at 9:45 pmI tried LOA very actively a year and a half ago. I put myself in a meditative state and wrote down all of the characteristics I would like in a mate and additionally wrote how I would feel with this person. I would actively put myself in this feelling state everyday. I honestly can tell you that I could feel the Universe manifesting him for me. I felt the power of the Universe behind me and I was walking on air. A short while later, I met him…I was sure. I was sure because the familiar feeling I had conjured up everyday when reading my manifestations aloud was the same feeling I felt with him. It was pure resonance. We were blissful for a short time. The unthinkable happened. He changed overnight into nearly my worst nightmare. I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t know what to make of it. I still kept believing for a while and tried to release expectations. It kept getting worse and he became less like the person I once knew. In fact, almost in complete opposition. My life was almost destroyed.
I believe that it worked, and I KNOW I executed it properly and to my knowledge, there were no underlying “subconcious” sabotaging ideas. In fact, I dealt with those early on. In addition, I had no previous pattern of being with a man such as this. I am broken hearted and afraid now. I know it has power and I know it works, but what happened?? What do I do now. How do I trust it or myself. It rattled me to the core and my spiritual world is turned upside down. As you can imagine, the rest of my life also started sinking. I have recently started coming up with a theory with what went wrong, but I am open to suggestions. What happened??? I won’t rest until I know.
Posted by: April on May 19th, 2009 at 6:18 pmWow April, that is some tale. Thank you for sharing, and I am sorry you went through something so difficult. To me, the ‘law of attraction’ has nothing to do with the transformation that happened to your partner. You attracted exactly the right person, and this person’s change was also exactly the right thing. There is a life lesson buried deep within this painful chain of events…and although I can not tell you what this lesson is, I am sure you can find it if you dig deep enough. In fact, I am sure you can come out of this much stronger, and with more power, then EVER if you seek to learn the real message hidden here.
Posted by: Todd on May 25th, 2009 at 6:37 pmSometimes, when life throws its worst at you, the REAL challenge is to smile at it, accept it, and seek for the meaning within the pain and fear. This is SO hard to do, but the testament to an evolved being. You can DO IT! Just be patient and think about it
Much love to you,
Todd
I think the law of attraction is simply about focusing on a goal and going towards it. Many people don’t ever think about what they want, so they don’t follow a path towards success. It is not the “law” that makes this work. It is the work one puts in that makes it work.
Posted by: Cell Phone blogger on July 8th, 2009 at 1:54 pmi am very very glad since the day the idea about LOA was introduced to me by my Humanities professor. it really changed my life, it gave me the joy in life that i want. i actually performed the different processes that i’ve learned to attract wealth and as welll as love to come into my life…how can i use thr LOA to attract the one person whom i’ve been eyeing for almost a couple of months already? i really want him to be my boyfriend because i really feel something strong for him, and i feel that he’s the one for me…
Posted by: sherry on September 9th, 2009 at 8:58 pmThe law of attraction is a very flawed belief. Just like religion it sets the promise of good things happening to people. Since people just cannot accept or do not want to believe that things happen beyond their control they need to have hope and faith in something. When people are desperate they will turn to just about anyone and give their last dollar just for any chance of it improving their lives.
Posted by: FalseGods on October 16th, 2009 at 3:17 pmI have had dealings with two people from the Secret and they are nothing more then con artists. I went to a seminar by one of them which was a “free” seminar but yet when I was there he wanted the crowd to fill out a form and put down their credit numbers to order his products. Once i saw that I ripped up the form and walked out.
The other guy was no better I had a question about one of his products and sent him a couple e-mails he never responded to. I also did some research and discovered some dubious information about him on the internet.
My point is like religion the law of attraction was created by someone who had a good idea to not only make a ton of money but to try and control people. Thats all religion is anyway is a form of mind control over people.
I tried the law of attraction several times and did everything that was said to do but it NEVER worked. Sure there were times i thought i was getting somewhere with it but then when i got what i wanted I eventually fell into a worse place then I was before.
People can call it “limiting beliefs” or “you really don’t feel deep down you deserve what you wanted and thats why it failed” to me those are excuses that are made for something that is nothing more then a concept that doesn’t work.
The Law works. I have come across the movie and its phylosophy very recently due to thr hiccups i hve had in the last months. In reflection, i understand i am now in this position as the result of my thoughts. How do i know the law works though? Because i have been applying it unconsciously without knowing since i was a kid. I will explain. When i was 8 after a row with my parents i had decided: i will not be spending my life close to what i perceived to be a destructive family, and i will live abroad. Yeah, u will say. Guess what. At 20 i reeived a contract to work abroad. That îs very rare for a normal
Posted by: Korynne on October 17th, 2009 at 8:15 amperson from an eastern european country. When ppl asked Me howcome i achieve what i achieved, i only told them: i knew i will get there, i didnt know how, or why, or when, but i knew i will live abroad. I just knew. I had visions, deep down visions AMD sincere belief i will live successfuully abroad. I isnt know how, AMD durung my teenagers years until 20 there wernt many practical posibilities but i went along with my daily life, with the deep belief that my dream îs my reality. My visions were different from my friends ones .ididnt are myself in their community, married there with children. Those thoughts just did not exist, not that i rejected them, but they were nil, void to
Me. To cut it short. One day a friend had proposed to Me to contact this Other person who lives in Australia, who was looking for someone like Me with my qualifications etc to fill in a job position. I said YES and to cut it short… I moved to Australia. In te space of 8 months(after formalities were out o the way). Now though i am in the uk but, there. Some might call it coincidence, but had i not been si convinced i deserved AMD m place was somehere else, i wouldnt have gone anywhere… Just as we are rejecting endless opportunities daily because of our limited belief systems. We must reset And train our unconscious mind to be who we choose to be. That doesnt mean killing the Old us or pretendig to be someone else. The hard work for Me îs now to let Go of te negative side of Me which i have grown comfortable with. Its very hard. What do you guys say abou this?
Hi there,
I have been a very recent addition to this entirely different theory of LAW OF ATTRACTION, I liked the concept & want to believe it.
Posted by: Abhijit Angne on November 23rd, 2009 at 4:07 pmIncidentally, I wish this should be like the Infinite discoveries & Inventions that man has made all through these years to ease his/her existance in this Universe.( Moreso in the past 100 years). I wish this is a theory that has taken centuries to come to its final form just like the way we understand Electricity or the other modern age forms of gadgets & tools. But somehwere this all borders on the fence of blind faith & factual science. I know I will be immediately sorted by telling me that ‘to believe’ is its first step, but for a lay human like me, I just repel the idea of make believe & fool myself with crazy stuff like reading the payable receipts as gift in millions,weird, this needs to be controlled, this needs to be shown the clear path, Pls. guide.
How can anyone understand the LOA from those who are successful, if no one will share what they do?That’s the problem… people won’t answer HOW they do it and it makes it seem that they may be FULL OF B.S.
Posted by: ed on December 6th, 2009 at 11:36 amI have made it work in my life ever since I found the books (Think And Grow Rich, The Science Of Getting Rich And Beleive And Acheive) thats when I found the secret one day as I was flipping through the channels I seen some of the teachers on Oprah talking about this law of attraction then I found the book than the movie that day I went over the material and watched the movie over and over but I discovered there are couple things missing from the secret that put all the pussle peieces together to get the whole picture. Thinking I could just will things to happen for small stuff like a coffee maybe or a parking space I would think of a coffee first thing in the morning and my room mate would always grab me one everytime I thought of a coffee first thing in the morning well thats not the case with the bigger stuff. The universe will give you what you want but you have have to do something some kind of action first really know what you want is required.example lets say your looking for a girl friend well your not gonna find one just sitting on your couch you got to get out in to the world and try to get one weather it be signing up for a dating site like plenty of fish or going to the bar or going for a walk you have to get out of the house and your head the universe will do the rest. Same goes for money or anything else some kind of inspired action is required write things down in pressent tense as if you already have them and have a vision board with the things you want by looking at them as many times as you can and imagining have them puts you in vibration with that thing and you might get an idea to do something to take some action to get that thing. Also when you have limiting beleifs you will never get what you want unless you clear them eft is the perfect way to let go and get rid of limiting beleifs than thing will manifest faster. the biggest thing to rember thinking positive and sitting on the couch will not make things happen for you you do have to participate in this law and in life you got to get out out of the bubble or the patterns you have made for yourself and get uncomfortable and take risks by talking to people telling them your dreams and the things you want the reward is greater than the discomfort you might temporilly feel continue to learn and grow and great things will happen for you with much love and respect.
Good sites to check out
Posted by: Herb on December 7th, 2009 at 12:31 pmwww.wealthbeyondreason.com
www.11forgotenlaws.com
www.emofree.com
Great stuff Todd. Thanks! LOA and “The Secret” are new to me too…5 weeks new. I have a lot of windshield time in my sales job and I must admit it seems to be working somewhat, based on the number of contracts I am writing now. (Of course I want more…!) I confess I am disappointed sometimes, but my affirmations which I say outloud are working…even for the no sales.
Posted by: Chuck on December 19th, 2009 at 2:09 pmRegardless, I am MUCH more positive these days…even my wife and kids notice the difference in me. I am becoming quite practiced at recognizing negative thoughts and squashing them right there on the spot. It is also getting a little easier as the weeks go by making the affirmations, keeping myself feeling happy, picking myself up from “down in the dumps”, and being grateful for all things in my life. I also must say that I see God more readily in all things around me. I’m a little closer to God these days than 5 weeks ago.
I have been using the law of attracton for several years.I dont understand how people can say it doesnt work.At the very least you think positively and you will feel better.I have managed to manifest a few things into my life.Sometimes i have figured out what i am trying to manifest is wrong for me and i will change what i think about.My ultimate goal is to think positively nearly 100% of the time.So in conclusion those of you having a hard time manifesting what you want,keep checking in with your thoughts during the day.Good luck.
Posted by: todd on January 20th, 2010 at 7:51 pm