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Kill Your Ego- Recognize The True You
By Todd | February 26, 2008
Last week while on vacation, I took on a great challenge. No, I did not jump out of an airplane or swim with sharks. I did something much more difficult—I committed myself to unplugging from all work related matters completely, and sought to be “present” or “in the now” as much as possible.
This task is much harder then it seems, and for the first few days I found myself ensconced in the usual Todd Goldfarb ways of thinking. I was worrying about my clients, anxious about this blog, stressed that I was doing nothing to move myself forward.
Eventually I was able to diffuse these thought patterns using one thing: my awareness.
This is a very powerful practice, and one takes a lot of work and patience. However, if you are really interested in personal growth and want to make transcending changes in your life, constantly being attentive of your thoughts is one of the most revealing exercises you can undertake.
How The Ego Operates
You, me and everyone else has something in us called an “ego” that diverts us from the genuine, true and authentic self that lies within. We so easily confuse the little voice in our head with the real us, and the ego’s constant stream of thought makes it very difficult to observe it from a different perspective. The illusion of ego is unfortunate because the entity behind it, the authentic you, holds all the cards to living a fulfilling, happy and successful life.
On Sunday night during the Oscars, they showed a short clip of 100 year old George Burns in which he said “when you get to be old enough, you get to be you again”. What George meant is that with age comes perspective, and towards the end of our physical lives the ego comes to accept its demise. The ‘becoming you again’ is a reference to becoming aware of the authentic self, and you will find many older people speak like this.
My question is: Why not work hard NOW to become ‘you again’ while you are still young, active and vibrant?!
Once you start becoming an observer to your ego, you begin to realize how insane it is. It is full of fear, anger, and sadness and creates conflict, uncertainty and doubt. My goal during my vacation was simply to become me again, and I did this by paying close attention to the madness of my thoughts. Once the ‘observer’ within me became clear, the anxiety and stress melted away and my authentic self was given space to manifest!
Awareness is the Universal Answer
The only way to diffuse the ego (or ‘kill’ it) is to shed awareness on the constant stream of thoughts it produces. I can tell you I have been practicing this for years, and it is hard work. Friends and clients constantly say to me: “why should I go through all the difficulty and anguish of becoming aware of my thoughts…I like my life, and I accept the illusion if that’s what it is. I am perfectly content the way I am”!
There are two reasons it is necessary to do the work of separating ego from the real you. One, you must realize that you will never find true contentment and fulfillment in your life if you are run by the thoughts in your head. If the ego is in charge you will be in a constant state of searching, comparing and desiring as opposed to being, accepting and doing.
Second, you must understand that your individual ego contributes greatly to the world around you. Humanity is in a state of relative emergency, if you haven’t noticed. Many of our established “systems” are proving to be unsustainable. This is the result of the collective ego.
Gandhi said “you must be the change you want to see in the world” and what he meant was that each of us must work individually to rid ourselves of self-polluting thoughts if we are to rid the world of war, starvation and slaughter. The underlying meaning here is that our personal growth is a contributing factor to the more global environment.
Intellectual Understanding Verses Experience
If you are reading this article then you are probably familiar with a variety of self-improvement and spiritual guides. Chances are you have a basic understanding of the ego, and how it operates. But one point I will say over and over again on this blog is this: there is a difference in having an intellectual understanding of the way the ego works and actually experiencing it.
Perhaps for this first time in human history, this type of conversation is taking place in the mainstream. Almost everyone I know can speak intelligently about something to do with the ego or global awareness. But how many people actually take the information and use it?
How many of you reading this article are actively increasing your consciousness, and using the books, articles, movies that are out there and doing the necessary work to improve yourself? The number is certainly growing, but if things are to really change on a global scale I believe we need more and more people making the shift from intellectual understanding to experience.
The Results
Once you effectively become an observer to your thoughts, you allow the real you to manifest. What is amazing is that once this happens all of the productive and creative ideas you were searching flow naturally. In my case, more than 20 wonderful ideas “came to me” over the course of 7 days I was on vacation through practicing the art of being present.
Some of them were article ideas for this blog, some were fresh ideas that can help me move forward, and others were general insights about the way I view my businesses. All of the things I would have been stressing about were virtually solved by being present. [Of course it is extremely helpful to carry around a notebook or voice recorder to capture the moments when ideas strike, and I highly recommend doing this].
I also feel as though I enjoyed my vacation more than I have vacations in the past. Being present, and purposefully creating the separation between your thoughts and authentic self, is very gratifying.
Remember, focusing on being present allows you to become aware of your typical patterns of thought in a very profound way. “Get off the couch” and make the shift from being an understander to an experiencer…it may be the very thing that saves humanity!
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Topics: Spirituality/Meditation |
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Tina Russell
Posted by: Tina Russell on February 26th, 2008 at 10:31 amGood article. IT’s very liberating to reduce the ego.
Posted by: Tejvan Pettinger on February 26th, 2008 at 3:17 pmSounds you took a very meaningful vacation, Todd. When I look back my life, I see most of the major changes I made came as a result of unplugging and facing myself. I think it is a necessary process we all need to take several times a year (in addition to daily quiet time) if we are to have truly good life, not the life our ego dictates.
Posted by: Akemi - Yes to Me on February 26th, 2008 at 3:36 pmI’ve been doing this for years. I highly recommend it!
Posted by: Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk on February 26th, 2008 at 4:04 pmThanks for the nice comments Jean, Akemi and Tejvan. It is good to hear others are doing this, and encouraging!!
Posted by: Todd on February 26th, 2008 at 4:48 pmTodd
Nice article, I too took a short vacation this past weekend and had many of the same thoughts. It was so nice to be in the moment with my family and little boy. It sure does put things in perspective!
www.JuiceofChampions.com
Posted by: Brad Baggett on February 27th, 2008 at 12:34 amThis is really great advice, and I can definately tell it’s profound! Amazing article, printed out for further reference. Thanks man
Posted by: Alex Kay on February 27th, 2008 at 1:26 pmTodd, thank you for sharing.
Posted by: Norea on February 27th, 2008 at 3:29 pmI’ve been challenging my beliefs with success for quite some years now, but found that past socialization can be so powerful it can trick the mind. What I realized very recently is that it is only with the heart that one knows what is true.
Thank you Norea and Alex….much appreciated, and I love the point about the heart. Thank you,
Posted by: Todd on February 27th, 2008 at 6:13 pmTodd
Does becoming aware of the ego and your thoughts mean asking yourself as you become aware of the thought, “is this thought based in fear, anger or sadness?” What exactly are you supposed to be looking for?
Posted by: Shannon on February 28th, 2008 at 10:09 amShannon– YES, thats the way to begin. When you ask yourself that question you become an observer to your thought partterns. When you start seeing the thought as fear, anger or sadness, then you view it from above, or behind it.
Posted by: Todd on February 28th, 2008 at 10:30 amThis is the very persepctive you need to transcend the fear, anger and sadness. It is hard work at first, and you will not know the difference between the observer and your thoughts for most of the time. But you will catch glimpses where you experience it. With practice, and awareness, those glimpses expand. Make sense?
Todd
Todd,this is the best article I have read this year and most timely as i am immersed in ‘The Power of Now’.Slowly i am becoming able to catch my thoughts and to an extent disociate my true self from the Ego - this is most starkly illustrated in the almost “evil” thoughts that occur during rush hour drive time !, I have been staggered to recognise the stream of aggressive impulses and inner dialogue that manifest-at least now i am able to recognise and start to deal with this.keep up the good work.
Posted by: Jim on February 28th, 2008 at 12:16 pmCheers
wow, THANKS Jim….thats some compliment! If you haven’t read Tolle’s next book, A New Earth, pick it up. It is incredible.
Posted by: Todd on February 28th, 2008 at 12:58 pmThanks again,
Todd
[…] Kill Your Ego- Recognize The True You […]
Posted by: Stages of Consciousness on March 5th, 2008 at 10:11 amAn excellent article, Todd.
I enjoyed that!
I’ve been mediating for years. It is indeed very liberating to free ourselves from the dictatorship of ego. Meditation is for everyone. It works from the inside out. It produces precious peace of mind.
It brings serenity, tranquillity and peacefulness. Meditation supports the person on all levels: physical, mental, and spiritual.
I highly recommend it!
Here is an excellent free e-course on Zen Meditation:
http://www.lasting-weight-loss.com/meditation.html
All my best wishes.
Posted by: Vee on March 15th, 2008 at 7:17 amTotally agree Vee…and I will certainly check out the e-course on meditation. Thank you so much for the link!
Posted by: Todd on March 15th, 2008 at 12:42 pmTodd
great article Todd!
I am also a big fan of Tolles teachings, I just have a question about the negative thoughts, for everyone.
Mostly I notice the thought, and then I get present. But at most it just feels like I suppress the negative thought (by not thinking about it - ignoring it).
Wont all those negative thoughts build up inside you or do you kill them completely by being present?
hope it makes sense.
Posted by: Jacob on March 24th, 2008 at 1:05 pmI have struggled with this as well Jacob. When I tried to think “more positively” I felt I was just squashing the negative thoughts for a later date.
Posted by: Todd on March 24th, 2008 at 1:27 pmThe truth is, you have to practice being present. The more you do, the more easily the light of awareness shines on the negativity. Eventually it becomes habit, and while the negative thoughts still persist, you see them differently.
Would be happy to discuss this with you further!
Todd
thanks for the quick answer
so the “squashing the negative thoughts for a later date”-thought is only an illusion? … maybe created by the ego in fear of its demise?
Posted by: Jacob on March 24th, 2008 at 2:31 pmThats exactly right Jacob, at least in my opinion. The only thing that really matters is cultivatig the ability to become habitually present to your thoughts…negativity can’t exist for long in this environment!
Posted by: Todd on March 24th, 2008 at 4:10 pm