As many of you know, a few months ago my long
term girlfriend and I decided to split up. Although the move was ‘right’ for both of us, it has taken me a little while to discern what I miss most about the relationship, and about her specifically.
Well, the purpose of this article is not to be a long diatribe about my emotional state of being since the break up (sorry to disappoint you sap seekers). BUT I do want to discuss the concept of having ‘anchors’ in our lives and what to do when an important one unhinges itself from your existence.
Relationships Can Be Awesome Anchors
One of the beautiful pieces my relationship with Irina was the fact that she was a very stabilizing force in my life. She was (and still is) a very peaceful, structured and regimented person who relishes the simplest ways of living.
During the years we went out these traits seeped into my own way of being and as a result I became more peaceful, structured and regimented. This was certainly NOT how I was before I met her, and I reaped many practical benefits from learning how to be this way.
So I not only miss the person who she was, but also the securing way her energy allowed me to mature and become a better person. [And if you are reading this Irina, yes, I am extremely thankful and grateful to you for being such a solid and stable presence during our time together]!
Losing a strong anchor like this can be difficult, and when it happens the first step is to become aware the affect its void is having. There are several more things you can do, and here are some helpful recommendations:
1. Become Aware of Other Anchors
The great thing about anchors in our lives is that unlike ships, people can have many of them. When you lose something stabilizing, it is important to ask yourself: what was it about that thing, person or activity that made you feel happy and secure?
Many of you have noticed that my writings on We The Change have dramatically decreased over the last few months. I think this is because I have been going through the process of transitioning out of old ways of being into new, higher vibrating paradigms.
This growth process often requires patience and a sense of stillness. I am a high energy person living in Manhattan (the most frenetic place in the world) and it is extremely difficult for me to cultivate patience and stillness, even when I know I need it.
For me, this often results in feelings of frustration and over the last few months I have experienced un-motivation, insecurity and apathy…and I get angry because these traits are so unlike me! And not having the wonderful anchor of Irina has made it even tougher.
But these times (which we all experience) are destined to pass and now that I am broaching the upside of the transition I see that We The Change, and the mere act of writing for it, is a huge anchor in my life that has been missing.
So how can you start recognizing what anchors feel like? Simple: they make you feel secure, stable and just plain good! Writing these articles makes me feel amazing, gives me a sense of stillness and is therefore a very beautiful anchor. Other anchors may include:
– Spending time with family and friends
– Focusing on meaningful work
– Being in nature (Mother Earth is our greatest anchor of all)
– Getting lost in a great book
– Spiritual practices like meditation
– Emotions, like love and gratitude
When you feel like you have lost something significant, you have to honor it. But there are plenty of other significant things to anchor onto, and we have plenty of abundance around us all the time.
2. Remember The Greatest Anchor of All
My first piece of advice—looking for other anchors—is a beneficial practice but pales in importance to the following axiom: that the greatest anchor you have, and will ever have, resides within you and is also accessible to you at all times for the rest of your life!
YOU are your greatest anchor, and you always will be. The power to make yourself feel stable, calm and peaceful is there for you at every moment. When you begin to feel lost and adrift, the best thing to do is to quiet your mind, take several deep breaths, and purposefully find the tranquility inside of you.
Recently I had my birth chart completed (which shows how the ‘stars were aligned’ at the exact time of my birth) and not to my surprise I was ALL fire and air signs. Because I had absolutely no earth energy at the time of my birth, I am
compelled to be high energy, lofty, flighty and idealistic with little a sense of grounding. All true.
For people like me, it is REALLY important to find and utilize anchors in our lives. Ask yourself: what about the things in this article resonates with me in terms of gaining more stability in my life? How I can I begin to use myself as an anchor?
I can tell you this, just becoming aware that we all need stabilizing energies, or earth energy, in our lives is a huge bonus. As always feel free to comment below and I look forward to your thoughts!
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