At 35 years of age, yesterday was the very first time I casted a vote in a U.S. election.  And at 35 years of age, I can tell you that today is the first time I have ever felt genuine feelings of pride, patriotism and love towards the country I have lived my whole life!

I guess I have always been cynical of America and what we ’stand for’, even though I have never really been able to describe my cynicism very well or fully understood where it comes from. 

The best way I can explain it is as a mystifying, innate knowingness that something has always been just ‘off’ about the way our society is set up.  

The undercurrents of greed and the attitude ‘I just need to worry about myself’ which permeates our lives, and that always results in more wars, more scarcity and more isolation is at the core of this ‘off’ness.

Internally I have always marveled at our collective addiction pulling us back to the same greed and desire for more money, more power, more control and more THINGS when we feel unsatisfied, miserable and depressed.

And it is an interesting dilemma to feel this way, especially since I personally come from a family and background that typically benefits from this cultural arrangement.  Being a white male, from an upper middle-class family raised in the suburbs of New York City…my life has, at least from the external perspective, been blessed with security and abundance.

Yet the cynicism has always persisted….something just wrong, the right things just not being said, the real problems just not being addressed, the root causes of our unsustainable ways of being just not being examined.  Until now.  

A New Landscape 

I don’t know much about politics, and I really am not sure what Barack Obama is going to do when he gets in office, but what I can tell you is that his words, his aura and his presence are enough to get someone like me, someone who as never voted before and thinks of politicians as the epitome of our greed-filled nation, into the booth and EXCITED about the possibility of a better tomorrow!  

But even Obama himself admits that the overwhelming passion for his presidency has nothing to do with him.  And he’s right.   He is merely a manifestation of the collective desire for transcending cultural changes that has been denied the people of this planet for too long.  

The reason why it is SO exciting to be alive right now is that finally, a critical mass of individuals has awakened to the fact that we need to change.  This is truly a historic moment!

Can you imagine in a hundred years from now our great grandchildren looking back and saying:

“imagine, it was only a century ago that 1/3 of the world’s population lived on less then $1 a day, where millions of young children died of hunger each week when there was plenty of technology and abundance to feed all; it was only a hundred years ago that  people lived by plundering Planet Earth for energy and risking the very delicate environment which sustained them, where millions of people warred with and killed each other; it was only a hundred years ago when people really saw themselves as separate and isolated from everyone and everything else.  Imagine living that way”!

NOW, I am not saying that Obama is coming into office and these new realities will happen right away.  No, these types of changes will take many years to happen….but we are on the right path, and the world is waking up.  

We are in the process, and our consciousness is evolving, and the best thing we can all do is embrace it and add our energies to it!  AND we each must do our part to make these changes happen…no one will do it for us.  We need to act now!

A Gradual Awakening 

I have many friends and colleagues who feel the complete opposite, and are petrified of change and see Obama as a socialist, a fascist and someone who wants to re-distribute all the wealth in the world.  I have many friends who ask me: “how can you vote for Obama, and don’t you understand how dangerous some of his policies are”?  

And its hard for me to answer them because delving into nitty gritty ‘policy’ discussions so easily shields us from the greater movement that is happening all around us.  This is not to say that we don’t need good policy’s, solid government and leadership, because we absolutely do!  

But the driving force behind the nitty gritty decisions needs to come from a loftier place, and with grander perspective.  My experience is that either someone gets this, or they don’t…and the people who ask these questions, in my opinion, tend to have the primary motive: “What’s best for ME”!  

But SO much more is at stake right now, even the continuance of human existence on this planet is in play.  Obama, in many ways, represents the hope for an honest and authentic examination into the mess we have collectively gotten ourselves into and the possibility for real, sustainable solutions to emerge! 

The time for negligence is over. We can no longer dismiss the root causes of our societal problems and we need to pull back the covers and examine who we are and what we can do.  

But there is still a great divide among humanity, and you will note from one group use fearful words like socialist, terrorist, fascist to describe what’s happening…while on the other side the language is of hope, possibility and change. 

The divide is so evident, but still so many don’t see it.  Even in the closing statements from both candidates last night, it was SO interesting to hear boo’s when McCain mentioned Barack Obama’s name….and cheers when Obama talked about McCain.

Time For Individual Action! 

It is time for each of us to ask ourselves:  what do I choose?  Do I choose to get bogged down in the old paradigm of terror, scarcity and stagnation….or am I open to peace, sustainability and social justice truly coming into being on this planet?

Can I see past the ground level issues, even if for a moment, and allow myself to connect with the greater shift in consciousness gently guiding us towards a better tomorrow?  Can I trust that the leaders we elected are genuine in their stated objectives…and what can I do to support the new world emerging”?

Yes, this IS an exciting time to be alive!  We are moving beyond examining the world from solely an intellectual perspective and re-connecting to our spiritual and emotional ties in the world, and to each other.  YES I am VERY proud to be an American right now and to be a part of this global renaissance leading the way to a better future!  

And lastly, I am VERY proud to be living and breathing at this moment in time…and am just in love with the world for what it is.  I hope you are too:)

To me, what this film is documenting is the very thing that can bring transcending and fundamental changes in the world.  More than EVER, we need to spread awareness of this message…get involved in it…and encourage our friends, families, colleagues to join in.

I will tell you that doing this work for the past year has been an incredible experience.  Millions of people are shifting their habits, careers, and even their worldviews, and we need to rejoice in this global awakening!

Have you seen the Paul Hawken clip that describes THE SHIFT?  If not, check this out and begin seeing how real it is:

World’s Largest Social Movement

OK, so this is just a short post to ask that you to go to THE SHIFT site, http://www.theshiftmovie.com and sign up!

Today, the message for this powerful film and movement was finally released to a very large audience! Over 4 Million people know now about THE SHIFT…so lets give this movement some legs!

Also, for those of you bloggers, list owners, or just very popular people…please send this message around.  Vote on it on Digg, Stumble and all social networks!

Here are some links:

THE SHIFT on Digg

BRAND New Facebook Fan Page

Thanks everyone…this is going to be huge…it needs to be.  Let me know if there is anything I can do for you!

Todd

Does it hear the crash of the waves on the surf, the high shrill of other birds swirling around, and the cackle of human voices milling about? Does it feel the wind, the sand, and the water in a similar manner as I?

Of course I do not know the absolute truth here. I can only surmise the answer is ‘no’, that the sea bird does not sense its surroundings in the same notion as a human being.

But how exactly does the bird perceive the realities around itself? And is it remotely possible for me, a human being, to comprehend the tangible sensations of a different species of observer?

A few moments later I watched a woman taking her very young child towards the ocean. I watched intently as the little boy excitedly jumped in and out of the waves, and shrieked with delight as the water came in towards dry sand and then back towards the horizon.

I began thinking about this young child’s perception, and wondered how he senses the ocean, beach, sky and realities around him. Was it similar to my observation?

I think its safe to say that the child’s discernment is more closely related to my own then the sea bird’s…but when you intently watch a young child it becomes clear that his perception is markedly different then an adults.

How Does Perception Really Differ Between Beings?

So even within my own species, perception can vary greatly depending on a variable (like age).

This really got my mind running, and I began contemplating two 50-year old men sitting beside me: one of them a clan leader for an indigenous tribe in remote Africa, and the other a Plumber from Brooklyn, NY.

How would these two men perceive the ocean, sky and beach around them? Would they see and feel the similar sensations? And if not how exactly would their base perception differ?

For my last experiment, I closed my eyes and lay back on the sand. I took several deep breaths and relaxed my mind. I sat there for 20 minutes straight solely focusing on my breath, coming in and out of my body.

I got myself in a wonderfully meditative state and felt very present. I then sat back up and opened my eyes ready to perceive the circumstances around me.

I could feel the wind much more crisply and noted its sensations on parts of my body that I did not feel earlier. The ocean and sky appeared much sharper to me, and I could see the ripples in the water much more clearly…almost as if they were moving in slow motion.

The blue color of the sky was so blazing that it almost startled me. Wow. I noted the horizon in a much different way as well, and could see ripples of current much farther away.

I heard sounds that I did not notice earlier, like the ripple of the wind on a kite that had been flying above me. I heard the sounds of people from way down the beach, and could also hear the rustling of sand as it whipped up on my shorts.

In all, it was like I was a different person observing the same scenario. But it was not a different person, I was still me.

3 Primary Observations From My Hour On The Beach:

1) That the human ability to perceive its surroundings is distinctly evolved, enabling us to understand the universe with the highest capacity that we are aware

2) That even within our own kind, perception varies greatly, and

3) That we can have a purposeful influence on how clearly we experience our lives

To point #1 the sea bird’s tools for perception are not as advanced a human being’s; it is an older, more archaic form of consciousness sensing its surroundings with less awareness.

The bird has a lower vibrating level of perception then we do, and therefore senses reality at a different level of stimulation.

To point #2 a young child, although not tainted by the ego and intrusive thought process of most adults, still has less potential for higher levels of consciousness then his/her elders.

So even though children may experience joy, excitement and thrill much easier then you or I, their potential for evolved human consciousness is not fully realized.

And to point #3, what about my own personal ‘transformation’? The difference between Todd before he lied down and Todd after he lied down is that the second Todd was much more present for the experience, sensing with greater clarity the truer nature of his surroundings.

Before the breathing and meditation exercises he was still wearing the lens of his everyday life. Things like work, money, food, and everything else that his mind incessantly thinks shrouded his ability to perceive to some degree.

Todd post relaxation was more still, present and aware. His ego was shelved for a few moments allowing the lens of his authentic self to perceive, in a more genuine manner, reality around him.

And what did this new perception bring? Clarity, crispness, increased beauty, and a sense of calm that were not there earlier…

We are always wearing some sort of lens that shapes our reality, and we have the ability at any given moment to wipe that lens clean!

So what is the point of making these distinctions?

The point is this: That we have the ability to purposefully generate a greater awareness of the world (and universe) in which we live.

Right here Right now YOU have the ability to be more aware and present.

And this is important because the more conscious we become, the more beauty, peace and love is brought into our lives and to the world around us.

And what’s more important than that!!

A few weeks ago I read an article in a morning newspaper talking about the benefits of investing in something called the ‘vice fund’, a portfolio of companies in the tobacco, alcohol, casino, gaming and oil industries.

The article touted the ‘fantastic’ news that over the last few years this particular investment option has averaged a 17.5% annual increase outperforming more traditional vehicles by considerable amounts.

This got me thinking: outside of the ‘benefit’ of making more money, does anyone else see the moral implications involved with investing one’s money in areas that capitalize on other people’s addictions and shortcomings?

Furthermore, at what point in our societal evolution did making money trump health, happiness, and personal well-being? How long have greed and egoic desire for more, more, more been prominent over the natural human tendencies for peace, vitality, self-control and fulfillment?

From a loftier perspective I began thinking about the concept of money not just in the physical form but in the context of energy. Here’s my case:

Money Really IS Energy

People who invest their dollars and cents into the ‘vice fund’ must understand they are also contributing their energies into these vices, even if they are not personally afflicted by them.

They are actively perpetuating other people’s terrible addictions by helping to increase profits for these companies; allowing them to market themselves more, form stronger special interest groups and gain momentum in a myriad of ways.

But that’s the problem isn’t it: People are more concerned about their personal ROI than they are about the energy their investments and money circulates into the greater environment we live.

Ask yourself: do you view money as something completely separate from yourself or do you see it as an extension of the person you are. Most people view money as separate from them and have a host of strong emotions concerning the role it plays in their lives: power, jealousy, greed, scarcity, fear, etc…are all common emotions money generates.

The way I see it, money is just another form of energy, and that’s it. The way we choose to make it, spend it and invest it is a direct reflection of the people we are.

I believe we have a social responsibility NOT to view money as separate from ourselves, but start viewing it as part of the energetic vibration we contribute to the greater culture around us. And this is a BIG shift, believe me. Let me give a personal example:

What You Invest In Pushes Energy In That Direction

Recently I was asked to invest in a real estate deal in Pennsylvania by a very close friend, someone who I respect very much. My buddy has had wonderful success investing in property in this area of the country, and researched the proposed deal in the greatest of detail…so of course I was intrigued.

[ps, as I was writing the above sentence, this friend called me. I haven’t talked to him in weeks…synchronicity really is an amazing thing].

When I found out the real ‘benefit’ of this project was based on the discovery of large reserves of natural gas under the land, and that this deal was prefaced on the assumption that big oil companies were going to come in and buy the land for much higher prices, and then drill into the earth to expunge the resources, I lost interest.

I choose not to put my personal energy (money) into such things as I feel there is great damage caused to the environment by such projects. Could I have made a lot of money investing in this project? Unfortunately in the world we live, probably yes. But for me it’s just not worth it as it goes against what I believe in.

Become Aware Of Your Spending, Earning and Investing As Personal Energy

The way I see it, money is not separate from who we are as people but an extension of our individual and collective energies. I am not trying to argue that I am ‘holier than thou’ or better than anyone else…just explaining my views concerning the importance of viewing money as part of our personal vibration.

For me, investing in the real estate/natural gas project did not sync with my philosophy concerning the environment…and adhering and honoring my intrinsic worldview by FAR outweighs the potential monetary benefit I might have gained.

I also know that other projects will come along (and have come along) that will resonate with me on all levels…and I choose to spend my time and money living and breathing these areas.

SO, be wise with your money. Become aware of what you spend it on, what you invest in, how you circulate this form of energy into the greater environment around you. Understand that the single minded desire to make money only for itself never leads to fulfillment and happiness. Spread it to good, sustainable causes. Contribute to peace and social justice. Enjoy yourself in a healthy and beneficial manner.

Doesn’t this just sound better!

Picture Above by Diane Vermuelen

Well, the purpose of this article is not to be a long diatribe about my emotional state of being since the break up (sorry to disappoint you sap seekers). BUT I do want to discuss the concept of having ‘anchors’ in our lives and what to do when an important one unhinges itself from your existence.

Relationships Can Be Awesome Anchors

One of the beautiful pieces my relationship with Irina was the fact that she was a very stabilizing force in my life. She was (and still is) a very peaceful, structured and regimented person who relishes the simplest ways of living.

During the years we went out these traits seeped into my own way of being and as a result I became more peaceful, structured and regimented. This was certainly NOT how I was before I met her, and I reaped many practical benefits from learning how to be this way.

So I not only miss the person who she was, but also the securing way her energy allowed me to mature and become a better person. [And if you are reading this Irina, yes, I am extremely thankful and grateful to you for being such a solid and stable presence during our time together]!

Losing a strong anchor like this can be difficult, and when it happens the first step is to become aware the affect its void is having. There are several more things you can do, and here are some helpful recommendations:

1. Become Aware of Other Anchors

The great thing about anchors in our lives is that unlike ships, people can have many of them. When you lose something stabilizing, it is important to ask yourself: what was it about that thing, person or activity that made you feel happy and secure?

Many of you have noticed that my writings on We The Change have dramatically decreased over the last few months. I think this is because I have been going through the process of transitioning out of old ways of being into new, higher vibrating paradigms.

This growth process often requires patience and a sense of stillness. I am a high energy person living in Manhattan (the most frenetic place in the world) and it is extremely difficult for me to cultivate patience and stillness, even when I know I need it.

For me, this often results in feelings of frustration and over the last few months I have experienced un-motivation, insecurity and apathy…and I get angry because these traits are so unlike me! And not having the wonderful anchor of Irina has made it even tougher.

But these times (which we all experience) are destined to pass and now that I am broaching the upside of the transition I see that We The Change, and the mere act of writing for it, is a huge anchor in my life that has been missing.

So how can you start recognizing what anchors feel like? Simple: they make you feel secure, stable and just plain good! Writing these articles makes me feel amazing, gives me a sense of stillness and is therefore a very beautiful anchor. Other anchors may include:

– Spending time with family and friends
– Focusing on meaningful work
– Being in nature (Mother Earth is our greatest anchor of all)
– Getting lost in a great book
– Spiritual practices like meditation
– Emotions, like love and gratitude

When you feel like you have lost something significant, you have to honor it. But there are plenty of other significant things to anchor onto, and we have plenty of abundance around us all the time.

2. Remember The Greatest Anchor of All

My first piece of advice—looking for other anchors—is a beneficial practice but pales in importance to the following axiom: that the greatest anchor you have, and will ever have, resides within you and is also accessible to you at all times for the rest of your life!

YOU are your greatest anchor, and you always will be. The power to make yourself feel stable, calm and peaceful is there for you at every moment. When you begin to feel lost and adrift, the best thing to do is to quiet your mind, take several deep breaths, and purposefully find the tranquility inside of you.

Recently I had my birth chart completed (which shows how the ‘stars were aligned’ at the exact time of my birth) and not to my surprise I was ALL fire and air signs. Because I had absolutely no earth energy at the time of my birth, I am compelled to be high energy, lofty, flighty and idealistic with little a sense of grounding. All true.

For people like me, it is REALLY important to find and utilize anchors in our lives. Ask yourself: what about the things in this article resonates with me in terms of gaining more stability in my life? How I can I begin to use myself as an anchor?

I can tell you this, just becoming aware that we all need stabilizing energies, or earth energy, in our lives is a huge bonus. As always feel free to comment below and I look forward to your thoughts!

Have you ever experienced a period of time where it felt like everything you did was perfectly in flow with the way you should be living your life? When it happens you usually encounter a high frequency of coincidences, or what I prefer to call synchronicities.

Most people dismiss these experiences as just random acts in the random play of life. I could not disagree more! The moments you are truly living in the flow (and it could be for an hour, a day, or even weeks and months on end) are the times you have access to the universal wisdom that lies within each of us.

And this wisdom holds the key to living a life with excitement, success, fulfillment and love we all desire! Therefore it is imperative not to dismiss the times you experience high degrees of synchronicity, but rather bask in its wonderful flow with attuned awareness and consciousness.

It is also important to share these stories with friends and loved ones, as living in the flow is contagious…the more we talk about it and think about it, the more it happens.

Which brings me to MY tale:

A few weeks ago I was travelling back from LA on business, and the morning of my flight was the beginning of 24 hours of very intense coincidence and synchronicity.

It began at dinner with a bunch of colleagues as a friend shared a very emotional story of something that happened to him in the past, the date of which became quite significant in his life.

Almost on cue, Keri (one of the other people at the table) and I blurted out “what’s the date”? It turned out to be September 20 and Keri and I looked each other and she said ‘yea, that’s my birthday’.

Keri explained that she just knew he was going to say that date. The gentleman next to Keri then shared that his eldest son was born on September 20. The person next to him then explained that September 20 is the day her mother died.

Another friend chimed in that his eldest sister is born on that date. Besides me, everyone at the table had a significant story regarding September 20! It was an eerie (and very cool) few moments…and the connection between those at the table was palpable.

Synchronicity 30,000 Feet In The Air

The next morning I get on a plane back to New York, exhausted from the long trip and passed out. A few hours into the flight the girl next to me taps my leg (while I was sleeping) and says “excuse me, but if you are bored and need something to read I have an extra book on my bag”.

I looked at her for a second as if to say “are you kidding me…you wake me up to exchange pleasantries”, but I just go with it and ask ‘what book’. Of course it turns out to be the Eckhart Tolle A New Earth book, which I have written about a lot on this site.

This sparks a pretty deep conversation and we ended up talking for close to three hours. It turns out my new ‘friend’ is going through a pretty serious awakening process and there were many similarities, or coincidences, between us. I guess there was a reason she felt compelled to wake me up!

Upon landing, I had to go directly to a meeting for yet another start-up venture I am involved. This project’s leader is a particularly bright and engaging individual named Derrick Ashong (from the band Soulflege, The SHIFT movie trailer, and a few infamous YouTube videos).

I got to the meeting just as Derrick was starting his explanation of the business, and listened with great interest as he described a launch event in New York City this fall on…you got it, September 20. I almost fell off my chair, and shared with the folks at the meeting my dinner experience from the night before. Synchronicity working its magic…

The Next 12 Hours

The next morning I woke up and went to my usual diner for breakfast. I have become friendly with one of the waitresses there (she always sees me reading books on meditation, self improvement and the like) and upon seeing me says “OH, where have you been, I’ve been waiting for you and have some stuff you might enjoy”.

She then hands me a bag with a few books and a CD by a local Cellist I told her I liked. One of the books concerned Yoga practice, and seeing it tipped me off that there is a local Yoga studio that I have been meaning to check out for some time…and that today might be the perfect day to do it.

You see, a few weeks before I received an email from the business development manager of this particular Yoga studio after she did a search on the ‘caterpillar to butterfly’ phenomenon and found my article on Google.

She became intrigued by We The Change and saw I was located in New York City and sent me a very nice email. After some communication, she suggested I come into the studio and take a free class.

SO, after a few hours of catching up on emails I went over to Lafayette street to check it out. I walked into the studio and it was pretty much closed (it was the middle of the day and they only have classes in the mornings and evenings). BUT there was one person there: Kristen, the girl who had written me the email.

The two of us hit it off right away, and got into an hour conversation about all sorts of things. One of the major coincidences was that she used to date Daniel Pinchbeck, the author of 2012 The Return of Quetzalcoatl (the book I was reading and in my bag at the time).

She then told me a story of how a few years ago she spent an entire summer in a state of love. I was intrigued by this and asked her what this felt like. She explained that during this time she was constantly enveloped in feelings of grace, peace and acceptance.

She also realized that this is how human beings were supposed to feel ALL the time, and that love and non-resistance were our natural states…and stress and anxiety were mind-made constructs.

Living in Continual ‘Love’?

On the way home from speaking with her, I gave the idea of living in a constant state of love some thought. Was it really possible to live this way all the time? I stopped off to pick up some lunch and walked into my apartment. I turned on the TV for the first time in about 2 weeks and the first thing I heard was Hugh Grant’s voice in the movie LOVE, Actually.

Of course this movie was on, given the conversation I just had and the day of synchronicity I was ensconced (FYI, if you have not seen this film, it is AWESOME and I highly recommend it)!

SO, I sat there and watched this movie which is all about Love and the various forms it comes. When it ended I realized that it had been exactly 24 hours since I landed from Los Angeles. I reflected on the events and got the sense that I had been living in a state of grace, acceptance and love, and that the 24 hours were full of flow and synchronicity.

In The End…

I feel that these moments are the universe’s way of telling us “you are on the right path”. I believe it is our job to manifest these synchronicities in our lives, and to experience with heightened awareness the wonderful feelings of flow they provide. OR, you can simply be resistant, combative and constantly unfulfilled with life. We all have this choice…which sounds better to you??

Photo Above By Cheryl 

I have gotten several emails from blogger friends and concerned readers asking “is everything OK with you”? The sentiments have been heart-warming, and I appreciate your interest in my well being.

First off, the answer is ‘yes’, everything is OK with me. The reasons for my taking a break are very personal, but in honoring my mission for complete transparency concerning my journey in life I would like to share with you the experiences I have had over the last 6 weeks.

The goal: to help you garner a few nuggets of wisdom and start seeing that it is OK to have down cycles in your life. To help you see these times are very necessary and often set the stage for a greater ‘you’ to emerge. Let me explain:

Start of My Downward Cycle

Towards the end of March, my long-term girlfriend Irina and I decided to split up. After 3+ years of beautiful time together (and 2 years of living under the same roof) we mutually agreed that the best thing for us to do was go our separate ways.

I am not ready to get into the details of why we broke up, or my philosophy concerning relationships and ‘life partners’. I am sure I will have more to say on this in the future, but now is not the right time.

I will say that the split is very tough for me (and I imagine for her too) because we never fought and had no animosity between us. In a nutshell, we wanted different things and simply began to ‘grow apart’.

The morning after we made the official decision, my front tooth (which is a crown) cracked and broke off. This particular tooth has been my nemesis since I was 9 years old when my best friend (still to this day) inadvertently hit me in the face with a bag filled with silverware and broke my natural tooth to the base.

I haven’t had a problem with that tooth in 8 years, but the day after a traumatic and emotional decision was reached the thing decides to crack off. Funny the way life works. I believe that coincidences like this hold great meaning (as opposed to random, dis-connected occurrences) and I sought to understand what was going on.

In this case I believe my tooth breaking was a physical manifestation of the breakdown in my life that was underway. The universe was telling me ‘things are becoming undone’. I just didn’t know how far it was going to go…

The Downward Cycle Continues…

After going through the very uncomfortable process of getting a new front crown, I was traveling back from Los Angeles on a red eye after extensive and exhaustive business meetings regarding The SHIFT project I am working on.

I was excited to get home and just chill. Upon entering my apartment Sunday morning I immediately switched on The Masters golf tournament (one of my favorite sporting events of the year). As I began to unwind I felt a little twinge in my throat. I got up to make some tea, and it hit me all at once: I was sick. My body felt completely broke down.

The next several days, I chose to honor the intelligence of my body and slept late, drank plenty of fluids and relaxed as much as possible. This was tough, believe me. I had a lot of important things going on in my life, and I felt that it was the worst possible time for my body to break down.

For one, I was turning 35 that week. A BIG birthday mentally and I really had intentions of spending it with some good friends in light of my recent break up with Irina. Second, there was a ton of work that needed to be done for The SHIFT and some other projects I am working on.

But none of it happened—my body was speaking loud and clear. Although I was trying to listen, and was giving myself requisite time to heal, I did not fully realize the greater context of these congruent events. In fact, I think I am just starting to realize the life lessons inherent in the ebb and flow of the last 6 weeks.

Bottoming Out: Downward Cycle in Full Effect

About 6 days later, a newly single, very ill, new tooth wearing, and exhausted Todd went to his parent’s house for a family dinner and gathering. I walked into the house, my mother took one look at me and said “what in the hell is wrong with you…” and “do you have any idea to take care of yourself”! I guess I looked pretty terrible.

My sickness had progressed and I could barely hear out of my right ear. I definitely had a pretty strong sinus and ear infection…potentially worse! But I somehow made it through the dinner, and promised my mom I would go to a doctor immediately the next day.

As I went upstairs to my parent’s guest bedroom and prepared for a lengthy slumber, my newly crowned tooth (which cost me $1,800 by the way…I do not have dental insurance) cracked again. I sat there looking in the mirror at myself, and what I saw was this: a tired, sick, one toothed, un-motivated, confused, scared, lonely, and sad little boy sitting at the edge of his parent’s guest bedroom bed in pajamas.

What in the hell was going on with me? How could all of these things be happening at once? I allowed myself to soak in the feelings of self-pity for a few moments, and I wallowed in the unfairness and pain of my present circumstances.

But a funny thing happened: right in the middle of my deepest despair I began laughing at myself.

I had a sudden realization that my mind had totally taken control of me, and was perpetuating a story of being a victim of all these occurrences. Although I was still ill, single, and with one tooth, this very awareness snapped me out of it. In a sense, I awakened for a moment. This was the start of the upward cycle…

Putting It In Perspective, And What It All Means!

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article concerning what happens when a Caterpillar turns into a Butterfly. If you have not read this one, please take a moment to read it because I think it applies very mightily to the downward cycles I recently experienced.

I feel as if the last 6 weeks served as a very necessary and important stage of what needed to happen in my life at this time. In retrospect I experienced a great clearing in a myriad of areas including intimate relationships (Irina) and physical health (infection), and was forced to deal with a variety of emotional, physical, and spiritual realities.

A big nemesis showed up again (tooth) and passed through the physical milestone of a ‘new age’ (35). I was forced to slow down and rest even though my mind wanted me to move, move, move and act, act, act!

Everything in the last few months has pointed to a clearing of the past and setting the stage for a greater future to emerge. I feel like the last 6 weeks of my life were similar to the Caterpillar’s time as a big blob of goo right before it takes form as a new realm of being: a Butterfly.

So where am I right now? In one word: re-emerged. I feel very clear headed and empowered. I am traveling out to Los Angeles next week for work and am crystal clear about what needs to get accomplished. It was also very apparent to me that now was the right time to publish a We The Change article again, and that I needed to share this specific story with you.

(In fact, I started writing this piece last week, but it just felt ‘off’. I wasn’t quite sure what I was trying to accomplish. The big blob of goo that was Todd was not ready yet).

I also know what I need to do to honor my wonderful relationship with Irina, and insure that we both are able to create the greatest future that wants to emerge for both of us.

TIPS For You

In all, my downward cycle was a necessary stage for the beautiful upward mojo that I now have. Here are some things that I hope you can take away from my story:

– Shed the light of awareness when you are in a down cycle. Don’t force yourself out of it, just be aware that these times exist for a reason and accept them. Have ultimate faith that you will inherently know when the time is right to re-emerge.

– Appreciate the uptime, but understand that it is also fleeing. No human being can sustain feelings of true contentment forever. Again, awareness of the cycles is the key.

– Notice coincidences and synchronicity: they are telling signs that clue you in to inner intelligence. Put value on them!

– Honor the intelligence of your body

– Never have your nest friend knock out your front tooth

– Realize that the sentiment ‘I have not been myself lately’ is foolish. You are always yourself, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, etc…

So I am BACK. Tune in for continuing We The Change pieces!