There are always going to be people in our lives that we do not “vibe” with. Unfortunately, sometimes our situations dictate that we spend a lot of time with these individuals (i.e. a boss, sister-in-law, or co-worker), and it is imperative to learn how to best deal with it!
Here are 9 of the most effective techniques you can implement to begin seeing these people in a different light. Try a few of these exercises out over the next few weeks and I can almost guarantee you will notice an improved outlook:
1. Commit to LISTENING For One Full Day
Challenge yourself to become an unobstructed listener for one whole day to someone you have problems relating. As they communicate with you simply look them in the eye, breathe, and refrain from giving your typical opinion (or feeling the usual frustration). This practice will force you to listen in a different manner, and generate a new perspective by quieting the little chatterbox in your head that causes the dislike.
2. Giving Up Being “Right” Even When You KNOW You Are Right
On the same note, while you are practicing this new way of listening give up the attitude that you are right even when you are certain you are right! Many times, not vibing with someone stems from a general disagreement on the “ways of the world”. Realize that you may NEVER agree with them on certain things and give up arguing and imposing your viewpoint for a day. This is a wonderful practice that teaches you acceptance and patience.
3. Sing Their Praises to Others
I am not a big fan of “gossiping”, but spreading encouraging news and positive gossip about someone you typically do not vibe with is a great way to shift the energy between you. They will love hearing good news going around about them, and will look at you differently.
4. Ask Them For Help
By nature, human beings enjoy helping and giving to others. Yes, even the person you find it so hard to get along with. A great way to knock down relationship barriers is to ask someone you have problems with for help. Make sure it is in an area they have expertise, and see how this simple act can change the whole landscape of your relationship.
5. Give and Expect Nothing in Return
To open up the door with someone you typically have problems, try doing something unexpectedly nice. Buy a small model airplane that you know he collects, or bring her a glazed donut you know she loves in the morning. It does not have to be big, but the more important thing is to give genuinely and not have the “OK so what am I going to get in return” attitude.
6. Be Completely Honest With Them
You will not be able to have truly meaningful relationships with others unless you are genuine and forthcoming. People, at their cores, respond much more positively to honesty. I am not advocating telling them how much you despise them and disagree with everything they do, but encouraging more honest communication. This may be hard for you to do at first, but worth it in the long run if you want more fulfilling relationships.
7. Focus Your Attention on the Positive Attributes of the Relationship
When it comes down to it, our own thoughts dictate much of the way we relate to other people. In dealing with people you do not get along with, try a shift in your internal dialogue—think about the positive things they bring to the table as opposed to all the negative ways they impact your life! Applying positive thinking when it comes our relationships can be hard work, but can also hold the key to how you relate with almost everyone!
8. Make a Journal Entry As If You Were Them
Another fantastic way to get perspective on someone else, and “wear their shoes for a day”, is to write a journal entry as if you were them. What goes on in their mind? How do they see the world and what do they think about YOU? As you do this really delve into the mind of the other person and momentarily let go of your own views. This one exercise can greatly improve your relationship with anyone!
9. Sleep on It
When all else fails, and the person is making your blood boil, I implore you to cultivate enough patience to sleep on it and resume action the following day. Things will look different after a good night’s rest,
and you are not apt to act as rash!
Employing these 9 activities can improve almost any relationship you are in. Try them out, you will see results almost immediately!
Photo Above by Juan J
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